Comments on: Works for Me Wednesday- Marriage Advice

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:33:35 +0000

Never borrow money.

If you do borrow money, never let it be more than 25% of just ONE of your incomes. Save the rest.

Finances are one of the biggest causes of breakups and problems in marriages today.

By: Jendeis

Jendeis — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:31:04 +0000

Great question!

(1) Choose your battles. World War III does not have to be the result after the fifteen-billionth time he forgets to pick up the wet bath mat and spread it on top of the tub.

(2) Make an effort to spend time away from your husband. That is, go out with friends and spend time just with yourself. Your marriage is made of two people, not just one couple.

(3) Laugh with each other every day.

By: Pinks & Blues Girls

Pinks & Blues Girls — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 18:39:25 +0000

That is great advice. Mine would be (and it is something I have to work on myself) is accepting your spouse for who he/she is and not trying to change them.

Jane, Pinks & Blues

By: ABC

ABC — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:55:11 +0000

I’ve only been married for 5 years but we have some great ideas that have really worked for us:
1. Fights happen, but it helps to have a “special word or phrase” that makes both of you laugh. Either my husband and I always say this while we’re fighting and then we stop and just laugh. We can then calmly discuss the issue because laughing has calmed us down.
2. Take 5 minutes a day to just sit with each other. On the couch, at the end of the day, even if the TV is on, just sit with each other. Cuddle, kiss… it really calms you down and reconnects you after a busy day.
3. Maybe take the men aside and discuss how raising children is not a mother’s job and it’s not 1955. My husband has been so involved since day 1, and got up at night when my daughter was still night waking. He loves the connection our daughter has with him and feels sad for his friends who leave more of the work to their wives. Now their babies cry when they are alone with Daddy. I actually like the change of taking out the trash while my husband gives our daughter a bath.
Hope this helps!

By: lifeafterbaby

lifeafterbaby — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 14:11:25 +0000

(1) Choose to love each other even when you really don’t feel like you like each other. That’s a good definition of commitment.
(2). SEX. And lots of it. But only with each other.
(3) Reminisce–remember the good times, the great times, the funny times, the monumental marriage blunders, the funny inside jokes.
(4) Dream–don’t forget that you each have dreams–ask your spouse about theirs and don’t laugh at them or crush them. Let them revel in them or try to make them come true.
(5) Honesty–be authentic, gently.

By: sll

sll — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 12:04:44 +0000

Everyday evening when you return home after a long day, have a 30-second kiss! (Just kissing….NO GROPING!) It gets rid of any hurt or anger! You cannot kiss someone for 30 seconds and not smile at the end of it!

Also pray for each other each day! It’s so nice to know that my husband is praying for me and loves knowing that I’m lifting him up in prayer, too!

Married for 15 years with 4 Little Ones!

By: Administrator

Administrator — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 05:01:41 +0000

when you have arguments, and trust me you will, do not bring up old hurts or past wrong doings. don’t use profanity, shout or bring up the in-laws. remember that your spouse is not a mind reader so if something is bothering you, tell them, if you want something, ask for it, if you need something speak up and no matter what you do don’t EVER go to bed angry -my husbad and i would keep a cassette tape of bill cosby (they didn’t have cd players back in the stone age) on our bedtable and when we got into bed, we’d play a few minutes of the tape. laughter is a great healer, and it helps you to fall asleep easier too. put on a cd of a favorite comedian, tell a funny joke or share a funny experience. give each other a hug and a kiss, then tell God why you are thankful for your spouse and pray for each other before turning in for the night. marriage isn’t perfect because we aren’t perfect. it isn’t a democracy either because sometimes you have to give up your freedom and independance and sometimes your spouse will have to give up theirs. sometimes meeting them halfway isn’t enough, you’ll have to walk that extra mile, but if you ask God to give you the strength, courage, wisdom and love to do so, Jesus will walk that mile with you.

By: Angel the Pig

Angel the Pig — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 03:53:20 +0000

The best advice I ever got about marriage came from reading Kurt Vonnegut’s take on divorce in his book “Palm Sunday.”

He said:
“I am going to write a play about the breakup of a marriage, and at the end of the play I am going to have a character say what people should say to each other in real life at the end of a marriage: ‘I’m sorry. You, being human, need a hundred affectionate and like-minded companions. I’m only one person. I’ve tried, but I could never be a hundred people to you. You’ve tried, but you could never be a hundred people to me. Too bad. Good-bye.’

Moral of the story: Don’t forget that marriage is a partnership of two unique individuals. It is okay for each of you to have outside interests, friends and hobbies. You need to allow each other time to pursue these other things, just be sure to strike a balance between alone time and couple time.

By: childrenofniobi

childrenofniobi — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 03:30:13 +0000

Romance is great and, to many people necessary. The downside of that is that many people want a “perfect” marriage and are disappointed and act resentful when their marriage doesn’t live up to that.

The problem is that there’s no such thing as perfect marriage, because there’s no such thing as a perfect person.

Often people say that marriage is about compromise, but how is that different than any interpersonal relationship? Rarely do we find situations that include more than one person where everybody involved gets everything they want from the situation.

So try not to think of marriage as some type of extraordinary situation within which you must compromise all the time…that type of grandiose thinking makes a lot of people feel pressured and uncomfortable.

Just remember…your spouse should be your best friend. Treat them as such. Be open and communicative. Be kind and thoughtful. Call your spouse out on things when they need it (not when YOU need it!). Be supportive. Be a good listener.

And don’t sit around thinking about things in your relationship that aren’t “fair”. Fairness is not a word that should be associated with a successful marriage in most cases. As has been wisely pointed out elsewhere in here, marriage is not 50/50. Give without expectation. Appreciate what you get wholeheartedly. You’ll feel better and you’ll both be happier

By: yestheyareallmine

yestheyareallmine — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 03:01:14 +0000

Start as you mean to continue. If you start out babying someone or doing everything for someone then they will be shocked, hurt and confused when you just stop because you are giving so much and needing more in return.