Today is “Backwards Day” over at Rocks in My Dryer. We are to ask one of our burning questions and get your brilliant answers.
Some of you may know, the hubby and I teach marriage prep at our church. Well, it starts up this weekend and I would love some fresh inspiration to pass on.
So my question is this: What is the best piece of marriage advice you could offer?
FYI- mine is this: Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. If you approach marriage this way you inevitably will be disappointed when your spouse isn’t giving his 50 and you will become resentful and stop giving your 50. A recipe for disaster as there will be seasons where you aren’t living up to your vows. Instead, approach marriage as 100/0. No matter what your spouse is giving, you will always give 100% expecting nothing in return. You will most likely find that your spouse usually meets you with 100% also.
That works for me. For more blogs awaiting your brilliant wisdom, head over to Rocks in My Dryer.
Everyday evening when you return home after a long day, have a 30-second kiss! (Just kissing….NO GROPING!) It gets rid of any hurt or anger! You cannot kiss someone for 30 seconds and not smile at the end of it!
Also pray for each other each day! It’s so nice to know that my husband is praying for me and loves knowing that I’m lifting him up in prayer, too!
Married for 15 years with 4 Little Ones!
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(1) Choose to love each other even when you really don’t feel like you like each other. That’s a good definition of commitment.
(2). SEX. And lots of it. But only with each other.
(3) Reminisce–remember the good times, the great times, the funny times, the monumental marriage blunders, the funny inside jokes.
(4) Dream–don’t forget that you each have dreams–ask your spouse about theirs and don’t laugh at them or crush them. Let them revel in them or try to make them come true.
(5) Honesty–be authentic, gently.
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I’ve only been married for 5 years but we have some great ideas that have really worked for us:
1. Fights happen, but it helps to have a “special word or phrase” that makes both of you laugh. Either my husband and I always say this while we’re fighting and then we stop and just laugh. We can then calmly discuss the issue because laughing has calmed us down.
2. Take 5 minutes a day to just sit with each other. On the couch, at the end of the day, even if the TV is on, just sit with each other. Cuddle, kiss… it really calms you down and reconnects you after a busy day.
3. Maybe take the men aside and discuss how raising children is not a mother’s job and it’s not 1955. My husband has been so involved since day 1, and got up at night when my daughter was still night waking. He loves the connection our daughter has with him and feels sad for his friends who leave more of the work to their wives. Now their babies cry when they are alone with Daddy. I actually like the change of taking out the trash while my husband gives our daughter a bath.
Hope this helps!
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That is great advice. Mine would be (and it is something I have to work on myself) is accepting your spouse for who he/she is and not trying to change them.
Jane, Pinks & Blues
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Great question!
(1) Choose your battles. World War III does not have to be the result after the fifteen-billionth time he forgets to pick up the wet bath mat and spread it on top of the tub.
(2) Make an effort to spend time away from your husband. That is, go out with friends and spend time just with yourself. Your marriage is made of two people, not just one couple.
(3) Laugh with each other every day.
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Never borrow money.
If you do borrow money, never let it be more than 25% of just ONE of your incomes. Save the rest.
Finances are one of the biggest causes of breakups and problems in marriages today.
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