It doesn’t take a woman very much time around men to discover that they aren’t too great about picking up on hints. I happened to have married a rare breed of man who actually picks up on the subtle and not so subtle clues I send, but I have found that most men pretty much need things spelled out for them (phonetically). It’s not that they aren’t as bright as women (although deep down, don’t we all know the truth there), it is just that they are much more literal, concrete thinkers.
Do you ever sit around and think, “God, honestly what were you thinking when you made us so insanely different?” Well, since he is in fact, God, I can assume he knew what he was doing. Either that or he just has a wicked sense of humor.
Anyway, when it comes to the bedroom, if most men were honest (which they won’t be) they don’t really quite know what they are doing. If they do automatically know what they are doing you are either a) really blessed and should thank your lucky stars, or b)faking it. Ladies, I am here to tell you on behalf of your hubbies: STOP FAKING IT!!! You are not doing either one of you any good.
Here’s the problem with women. We are a complicated breed. What works for us one time, often doesn’t work the same way the next. Let’s be honest, men are pretty easy to figure out in the bedroom (other rooms like the bathroom with the underwear laying on the sink-not so much). Women are a big old question mark. So instead of pretending to enjoy something that frankly feels like an unpleasant visit to the gyno, help your man out. Tell him what you want and how you want it (at this moment I have to go throw up as I know my mom and MIL read my blog)
OK, I am recovered (not so sure about them). One more word of advice. This is not the time to audition for drill sergeant. Men don’t want to feel emasculated (thank God for spell check). Tell him gently and nicely. Sometimes you don’t even need words (figure this out for yourselves ladies, I have relatives reading this). Your hubby will be so thankful he doesn’t have to play any more guessing games and I am betting you will reap amazing rewards from your little chat fest.
I know this is a toughy, but it is week 9 ladies. Are you in?
Georgia Mom
says:
Personally I don’t Arthur Murray could have danced around this subject any better than you! I get your point, in a very tasteful way
) Too funny! And I couldn’t agree with you more!
[Reply]
December 2nd, 2007 at 8:22 am
Marie
says:
I actually haven’t really figured out what my husband wants. I’ve kind of given up. In the beginning he would try to tell me and that would serve only to offend me, who had relied too much on Cosmopolitan magazine. Kudos for tackling this issue.
[Reply]
December 2nd, 2007 at 5:55 pm
jubilee
says:
I am blessed in that my husband isn’t easily offended when redirection is necessary. And I think you’re right, they’d rather just know than guess.
[Reply]
December 2nd, 2007 at 6:54 pm
SAHMmy Says
says:
Works for me! I agree with Georgia Mom–you do a great job of being vague enough to avoid weirdos hitting your site while making your point crystal clear!
[Reply]
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:33 am
a2jc4life
says:
I have never figured out the “appeal” of faking it. ???
[Reply]
June 13th, 2008 at 8:45 pm