One of the most difficult things for me about motherhood is the redundancy. And I am not even talking about the Groundhog Day existence that can drive you batty. Wake up, feed kids, dress kids, fix lunch, pick up messes, feed dinner, put to bed, clean up, collapse. I am actually referring to the fact that I often feel like I am a broken record that is skipping on the same phrases over and over and over. Don’t hit your sister, quit whining, I don’t like your tone of voice, why do I have to keep asking you to clean up, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do I sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher to them cause I certainly do to me.
Some days it feels like I am failing on every level because seriously how are we not making any progress in areas X, Y, Z. Or how come all the progress we made last week has completely gone by the wayside. And how come my kids aren’t perfect yet cause honestly, I have been at this thing for almost 6 years and shouldn’t they have it all figured out by now. Or at least shouldn’t we be moving on to more advanced parenting topics than just it isn’t polite to hit your sister for no apparent reason? Or how to flush the toilet 101.
Some days I lie in bed at night and think I must really be Charlie Brown’s teacher. Or maybe I speak in a tone only dogs can hear (except I briefly had a dog and he didn’t obey anything I told him either). I mean how is it possible I can say the same thing over and over day after day and no one is listening to me. And then I hear God whisper to me….”Exactly.” How frustrating and disheartening it must be for God. I only have 2 kids to ignore me and he has all of creation. Least of all me who he tries to hit over the head with a 2 x 4 on a regular basis to teach me to be more loving, more gentle, more patient, more kind. And he has been stuck on pause for 30-some years trying to get me to get past “Thou shall love your neighbor 101.”
Parenting is challenging as a human, but even more so as a Christian because if we really pay attention, we are reminded daily of how we are no more than overgrown children whining to our Father that “it isn’t fair, she got more than me” or “it was an accident” after we intentionally gossip about someone. All the things that frustrate me the most in my children are really just a clever way of God turning the mirror around back on me and showing me the myriad of ways that I sin and fall short every day. But usually I am too busy to listen and he too ends up sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher in my ear. May I be as patient with my kids as he continues to be with me.
Hillary @ The Other Mama
says:
I feel this way all the time! I think today I was yelling something along of lines of, “Please obey me. That’s all I’m asking you to do. Just obey.” Hmmm… Nice. Irony? Thick. My head? Thicker.
Hillary @ The Other Mama´s last blog ..5 Reasons I’m NOT Angry with Delta
[Reply]
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Jo@Mylestones
says:
Yes! Such a fantastic post!
Lately I’ve been made so aware of the “overgrown child” I’ve become toward my heavenly Father. Whining, complaining, doing the exact opposite of what I ask my kids to do (happy hearts! choose joy! self-control!).
Thank goodness His love knows no limits…
Jo@Mylestones´s last blog ..Happiness Wins – Part One
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August 4th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Maranda
says:
My husband has told my kids on more than one occasion that if you point your finger at someone else then you have three pointing back at yourself. It kind of goes to say that when we are telling our kids “You shouldnt …” whatever it is, then its a reflection of some of the things we are doing in our own lives. It really makes me think sometimes if I showed them how to be that way or if they figured it out all on their own. You really hit the nail on the head about this subject tho. I constantly feel like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
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August 4th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Candace
says:
You are so right on! My kids have helped me view my relationship with God in a whole new way. I can relate to everything you said!
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August 4th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Brooke
says:
actually i’ve gotten so good at trying on my own i don’t even here the “blah, blah, blah”
if i’m this way before kids, he’s really gonna have to bash me up side the head after i have a few!
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Kellye
says:
Gosh you really hit the nail on the head with this one. Isn’t it amazing that our Father in Heaven loves us even more than we could ever comprehend though? Just like our children mess up after we’ve told them thousands of times not to do something, we still love them, not even an ounce less than before their imperfect moments. God is just like that! We cannot let Him down. Doing so means that we’re holding Him up and that’s not truth. The truth is that He’s always holding us up and no matter how many times we fail, He still loves us completely and wholy. What an amazing gift!
Kellye´s last blog ..Things I love Thursday
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 8:41 am
The Stiletto Mom
says:
Great post and well put. I never thought of it that way! And…btw? We are all Charlie Browns teacher…all of us.
The Stiletto Mom´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Blog!
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August 4th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Jen-After the Alter
says:
wow what a great post. I don’t have any kids but I loved your honesty about the difficulties. Luckily god loves us and forgives us for our faults.
Jen-After the Alter´s last blog ..100th Post! All New After The Alter!
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Frugal Femina
Twitter: FrugalFemina
says:
I hadn’t thought about it that way. You make an EXCELLENT point.
Frugal Femina´s last blog ..MyPoints: Earn Points When You Shop
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Sarah @ Ordinary Days
Twitter: OrdinarySarah
says:
You said it all!
Sarah @ Ordinary Days´s last blog ..Why I Love My Garden
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August 4th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Heather
says:
Completely agree and sitting here thinking – yet again – “Yes… I too am still working in this area & thanking God for having grace & mercy with me; showing me how to have those qualities with my own children.” Parenting is hard, & yes God uses children often to wake up parents & others around them to something He’s been trying to “hit” them over the head with … telling us to be aware of the stake in our own eye before speaking of the splinter in others. Thx for your honesty & sharing this message.
~Hugs, HL
Heather´s last blog ..Word-Filled Wednesday
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Heather H
says:
I’m tearing up over here – great post. I am in round two of a major God-teaching in my life about me not being in control. I totally thought I got that one down pat the last time…guess not. It is the broken record that can be so grievous – for us toward our kids and for God toward us.
Heather H´s last blog ..Appearance and Identity: what I’m learning about letting go
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August 4th, 2009 at 9:24 am
shanaQ
says:
Beautiful post. Thanks.
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August 4th, 2009 at 11:08 am
CoCo
says:
Well said and I agree. But isn’t it so beautiful when God gives you a litlle window into your children’s hearts and you see that they have been listening and they actually, even for a few moments, exhibit the character of God!! Those moments are all the more precious after all of the rebellion. How much of our wanting our children to be obedient to us is about “us” wanting to have control? Yes, parenting changes us as much as it changes the children. Maybe more!!!
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Molly
says:
Wow. So well said. I’m going to be processing this for a few days and then every time (hopefully) I go to discipline my increasingly independent toddler. Wow, is really all I can say! Thank you for this post!!!
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August 4th, 2009 at 11:36 am
LaVonne
Twitter: lavonnelong
says:
This is my favorite post of yours in a while. It is so true! I feel like this everyday and I only have one child. This is hard work! Plus, it doesn’t help that I get so impatient and frustrated. I need more of God everyday (but seem to have less time for Him). Let’s pray for each other
LaVonne´s last blog ..Gratituesday: New Home?
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August 4th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Gabrielle
says:
Amen Sister! Wow, you completely described my life with four kids. Thank goodness for GOD!
Gabrielle´s last blog ..Introducing French Picnic
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August 4th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Erin G
says:
SO TRUE. And in my house, even the DOGS don’t listen.
But it’s nice to have a little perspective, so your post hits home.
Erin G´s last blog ..Running With Daddy
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August 4th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Sarah
says:
Very true – and so timely…
A sample of what my two year old seems to hear:
blah, blah, blah McDonald’s blah blah shopping blah blah cartoons blah blah playgroup… ad nauseum
I wonder what God would have to say about what I hear?
Sarah´s last blog ..Partial solution to the sleep thing
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Musings of a Housewife
Twitter: JoLynneMusings
says:
“All the things that frustrate me the most in my children are really just a clever way of God turning the mirror around back on me and showing me the myriad of ways that I sin and fall short every day. But usually I am too busy to listen and he too ends up sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher in my ear. May I be as patient with my kids as he continues to be with me.”
AMEN!!! I think of this often. God must get so sick of us, lol.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly.
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Robin ~ PENSIEVE
says:
{{Hugs}}
You’ve pointed out something that occurred to me when my kids were younger (and still applies today): my kids are wonderful teachers and God uses them often to reveal areas in need of refinement.
I understand why this is one of your favorite posts!!
Robin ~ PENSIEVE´s last blog ..Sponsored tweets? Paid posts? What do you REALLY think?
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
samantha jo campen
Twitter: samanthajcampen
says:
Beautiful post. And so true. I remember one time when Theo was super tiny and in full colic mode. I wanted to put him down and go do other stuff. Like clean or read or something when finally it hit me. “Ooooooh! God put you here to give me more patience! Ahhhhhh!” And that made it easier. Not all the time but it helped my burden when I was feeling sorry for myself.
Motherhood is an amazing journey isn’t it? By no means easy, but that’s what makes it great.
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Jeni
says:
Oh, you mean my toddler’s annoying whining & begging for things that aren’t good for her are a mirror of how I behave?? That couldn’t possibly be…
…oh, yeah. That’s true. Hmm.
Ouch.
Jeni´s last blog ..Priorities
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August 4th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Emily @ The Pilot's Wife
says:
The parent/child relationship is such an excellent picture of God and His creation. This was beautiful!
Emily @ The Pilot’s Wife´s last blog ..Job Update
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Jane Anne
Twitter: gravityofmotion
says:
I stumbled over here after Amber tweeted about your post. I am glad I did. Your words were warm – warm but almost too hot. I mean, they were both refreshing and convicting. I can relate to everything. I exhaust myself with my children and yet, I am so childlike in my relationship to God. I repeatedly have to learn lessons and I ask “Why” like a toddler. Thank you for your words.
Jane Anne´s last blog ..Not So Fast Henry
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Jenna
says:
Must be some sort of “parenting phase of the moon” that is hitting a lot of us right now. I, too, need to feel these parental frustrations and turn them into God moments, then LEARN from them and change. Thanks for writing, Jill.
Jenna´s last blog ..In the words of Liz Lemon…
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Malia
says:
Oh, I totally get this. Several years ago, I was going through an intense period of questioning God (not His existence but asking Him “Why?” over and over again regarding a very difficult situation). One day after going over and over it again with God and asking “Why?” over and over again, my daughter (then about 3 years old) started in on her usual round of questioning. She was asking “Why?” questions incessantly and at one point, I just couldn’t answer her anymore and I said, “Because I said so!” And it was as if the voice of God had spoken directly to me in that moment. That was God’s answer to my “Why?” questions as well. So I said, “OK. I get it. Thank you.”
And His answer did help me. It helped me see that He was in control of the situation. That he had answers and reasons beyond my comprehension. That I needed to trust and obey.
Parenting definitely puts our relationship with our Father into perspective! Your post is beautiful Jill, thank you for sharing your insights.
Malia´s last blog ..The Magic of Potluck
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Kathy
says:
“May I be as patient with my kids as he continues to be with me.”
Amen. Amen. Amen.
I wonder when God will give up on me, after all, I would. But He never does…
Really enjoy your blog…
[Reply]
August 4th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
mandi
says:
You said all of that so perfectly!! It’s so true, isn’t it?! “May I be as patient with my kids as he continues to be with me.” … that sermon worthy!!
Thanks for the gentle reminder:)
mandi´s last blog ..It’s a full on party!
[Reply]
August 5th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Vanderbilt Wife
says:
I definitely identify with this… my little one is still a bitty baby, and on nights when she whines relentlessly I start to go nuts. One night like this I was laying in my bed, trying to drown her out, and realized that God must feel a little like that about me. “What are you whining about? You have every good thing! I have taken care of all your needs! Shove it, already!” LOL. Well, maybe not in that language.
Vanderbilt Wife´s last blog ..Transitioning to Big-Girl Foods
[Reply]
August 5th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
oh amanda
Twitter: oohamanda
says:
Isn’t this so true?! I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately b/c we are basically in THE MOST rebellious time thus far. It’s beyond frustrating. And I am continually reminded that I’m exactly the same way…but also that God loves me even MORE than I love my kids. And when they “hurt” me, it’s exactly how I hurt God every dad-gum day.
(I posted about this…and am only linking it here b/c I know you love me and I know you know that I wouldn’t pimp myself on your blog. But even if I did you wouldn’t care…http://ohamanda.com/2009/07/20/my-first-parenting-scar )
oh amanda´s last blog ..Would Someone PLEASE Explain This To Me?
[Reply]
August 5th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
zenvis
says:
I’m a dad and man that was so true and funny. Well written. Thank you.
[Reply]
August 5th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Amy (from Gracobaby)
says:
Interesting perspective. I’ve thought about the fact that it’s turnaround for me since I used to whine and not listen and all that good stuff when I was little, but you’re right. . . I do it now too. Hmmm.
Amy (from Gracobaby)´s last blog ..Toothpaste Training
[Reply]
August 8th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Jordan (MamaBlogga)
says:
I was preparing a lesson on charity and forbearance today and I was reminded that Hayden is in the “Why? Why? Why?” phase—and so often, we ask God the same question over and over again, and aren’t willing to listen or don’t want to hear the answer—and still he is patient with us and shows his love for us.
Jordan (MamaBlogga)´s last blog ..August GWP Day . . . next
[Reply]
August 16th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Alyssa
says:
I DMed you on Twitter about this. Let me know if you didn’t get it. Thanks,
Alyssa´s last blog ..Good Friends = Good Life
[Reply]
August 18th, 2009 at 9:06 pm