Are you in? Your husband wants you to be…
There has been a ton of focus in the Christian community on the Proverbs 31 women. What is not to love? She cooks, she sews, she spends money wisely, and her children and husband love and obey her. I am not trying to mock the verses; it is a standard we Christian mommies should strive for. However there is another verse for Christian mommies we are quick to overlook.
So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control. (1 Cor. 7:5, NLT)
Yes ladies, I’m talking about sex. Or more accurately, the sad lack of it that is going on in many marriages. When I told a friend I was going to be blogging about sex she responded, “But you have a Christian blog.” This is where we Christians are seriously missing the boat. Did you see the scripture reference at the end of the quotation? God talks about sex in the Bible. And not just to tell us not to have it. He is telling married people to have it regularly. Now this commandment made not have made it in to the top 10, but it was important enough to make it into the big book. So why is it often overlooked?
I talk to a lot of mommies. A lot of women post-kids complain about losing interest in sex. Some regard it as a chore, some as a duty to just get over with, some as something done once a month during ovulation to try and procreate. At best, some regard it as something that sounds nice, but they’re just too dang tired to enjoy. Ladies, God gave us sex as a gift to enjoy with our husbands. Don’t believe me? How about a quick anatomy lesson? Women have something even men don’t when it comes to sex. An organ devoted entirely to sexual pleasure (if I lost you, it rhymes with Delores). So why aren’t we enjoying it more?
Let me pause for a moment and say…Mom stop reading my blog for just a minute. It will be safe to come back tomorrow. To my single friends-I know you think this premise is crazy. If you are staying pure, waiting for Mr. Right, you may find it insane that there are married women running around complaining about having to have sex. I could give you our excuses: the kids are making me tired, I don’t have the body I used to, he doesn’t bring me flowers anymore, Grey’s Anatomy is on… but the fact is, we married women often drop the ball.
So here’s the deal. Every week, I will be posting a challenge on my website to encourage us wives to step it up to improve the sex in our marriages. It will be tasteful, it will be fun, it will be great for your marriage, it will be pleasing to God. What more can you ask for? Let me be clear, this is for the MARRIED ladies and their HUBBIES. The rest of you have to sit this one out 
For those ladies who are already rock-stars in this area -kudos to you (and your lucky hubbies)! I suspect however that the bulk of us need a little encouraging. So are you brave enough to jump in? If so, leave me a comment. I would love it if you would reference the challenge on your blog. If you want to post the button linking to this contest in your sidebar, I can give you the code. Also, I will be setting up a P.O. Box for all the thank you cards (preferably with cash in them) that your hubbies want to send.
Are you up for the challenge?
Week 1: Fix Your Boudoir
Week 2: Mama Needs a New Pair of Panties
Week 3: How Illuminating!
Week 4: Shock and Awe
Week 5: Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun
Week 6: When in France
Week 7: How Bout Something a Little Racy (and Lacy)?
Week 8: Take it Off!
Week 9: Tell Him What You Want
Week 10: A Weekend Getaway
Week 11: Shake It Up Baby Now!
Week 12: The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Week 13: Let’s Get Physical
Week 14: A Challenge of Purity
Week 15: A Change in Scenery
Week 16:Try a Nooner
Week 17: I Feel Like Making Love (On Sunday at 10:30)
Week 18: Who Knew the Brain Could be so Sexy?
Week 19: Laughter, The Best Aphrodisiac
Week 20: The Grand Finale!
Candace
says:
I first have to confess what a dork I am. I was trying to sleep, but my husband was at church and it’s hard for me to sleep when he’s not home (even though I’m exhausted) so my first thought was to check your blog to see if you put your challenge up early. And let me tell you - I am not disappointed. I never in a million years would have guessed this, but I think that it’s an AWESOME idea. I’m not going to tell Hubs about it quite yet- I want to see how things go and see if he notices, but I know I can give you a hearty thank you on his behalf. We schedule sex 3 days a week (scheduled sex is better than no sex), but I could use a boost and am looking forward to what you have. I can’t believe I’m sharing this much info! I’ll link to blog tomorrow- this is so cool!
October 5th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
lifeafterbaby
says:
Hey Jill, we’ve been talking about sex a lot over at Life After Baby (LAB), so I’ll definitely be linking you up! http://www.lifeafterbaby.wordpress.com
And since I’ve been reading all these sex books, I’ve been intentionally working on this area of our marriage. Let me encourage everyone out there that YOU are worth it. We may think this challenge benefits our husbands, but when you’re giving to him, he’s giving to you, and when you’re both pouring life and breath (and hot, heavy breathing…oops, slipped out!) into each other, it is phenomenal.
http://lifeafterbaby.wordpress.com/2007/10/04/book-review-sex-begins-in-the-kitchen/
http://lifeafterbaby.wordpress.com/2007/09/18/book-review-is-there-really-sex-after-kids/
October 6th, 2007 at 9:22 am
Char
says:
I’ll have to admit…we don’t necessarily need the challenge in the Eastowners household. We worked through our dry spell after having a kid, and other problems, and are back to rockin’ like rock stars again.
October 6th, 2007 at 10:49 am
bigbinder
says:
I am SO happy you are doing this challenge! (Although, probably not as happy as all of the husbands of DD readers out there!). Before we were married we went to the Tommy Nelson (not the publisher, same name but different dude) seminar on Song of Solomon and if you can look past the fact that King Solomon had about 100 wives, you can get some really great, inspirational info in there about lovin’ on your husband.
http://www.songofsolomon.com/
Also, there is a website called “The Generous Wife” that helps me to see where I can do more. They send little reminder emails too.
http://www.the-generous-wife.com/
And finally, I really like the book “Love and Respect” (Emerson Eggerichs).
But then again; Marvin Gaye is also an inspiration
October 6th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Kathy in WA
says:
This is awesome! Thank you so much for being willing to tackle a difficult, often avoided subject (especially among Christians).
Go for it! Hee, hee.
Duckabush Blog
October 7th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
SAHMmy Says
says:
Fantastic idea for a series! Can’t wait to do the homework
October 8th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Meagan
says:
I cant wait, with 3 little ones I always have some sort of excuse
October 9th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
marigold1199
says:
I am IN! Please send me the code to link to the challenge on my website (too new to have a blog but do have a site!)
October 10th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
christy
says:
Stumbled on your blog and I must say this is a great idea. Every marriage can use more help in this area. I am subscribing and look forward to your challenge.
October 10th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Momof2
says:
My friend found your blog and emailed it to me. Things must be pretty bad, if my friend’s email me sex challenges, huh!! I’ve been trying to work on this area to, especially after reading the Christian for “For Women Only”. It reminded to make sex a priority. If I asked my hubby if he wanted the clean laundry put away or sex, I know sex would win hands down. Right now, I’m trying to put some chores aside and nap when the kids are napping that I’ve got a little more energy at night. Seems to be working
October 11th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Tara
says:
Saw the post at lifeafterbaby and I must say I’m SO intrigued and looking forward to this! Funny, we were JUST talking about this in my Bible study group the other night…LOVE how God works that way! Suscribing now!
October 11th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Elisa
says:
Very cool. Glad I found you and your words of encouragement.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
BethanySue
says:
I just love your blog.
November 9th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
barb
says:
I just found out about your challenge over the weekend and blogged about it today. I love the challenges and I know that my husband is pretty excited about this new adventure and chapter in our life!
Thanks!
December 4th, 2007 at 1:02 am
mamasgotmoxie
says:
i LOVE this post!! excellent!
January 4th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Nicole
says:
This is fantastic. My husband and I have our own little “challenge” going on this year & I’m really looking forward to it!
January 6th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
christis
says:
I love it! And my husband will love it even more!! Thank you for giving us the encouragement and verse to do this!
January 7th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
proverbs31
says:
Oh, man! I can’t believe I just now found this. I SOOO would have been on board. I agree with you completely and I’ve already been working on my own “bedroom challenge” of sorts. But it sure would have been nice to have the encouragement all along.
I’m going to go through and read each of the posts to see what I missed.
=)
January 9th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Qtpies7~
says:
Well, I’m a little late on this one. But you are right on the money. But if you want to equalize the drive a bit, start feeding your hubby prozac, hehe. OK, just kidding, but it helps me a ton now that my hubby is on prozac. We are MUCH more in sync.
February 3rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Queen of the Mayhem
says:
I think this is a fabulous idea! I am going to have to read up on the challenges I have missed so far!
How long do I have to do my makeup work? (hee-hee)
February 3rd, 2008 at 9:14 pm
jenni
says:
I’m about 9 innings late, but I’m going to catch up! My husband is out of town most weeks, so won’t he be surprised this Saturday!
February 4th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Desiree Rutter
says:
Ok, I am not going to say too much other than this is a challenge well-issued and hopefully well-responded to.
Great timing to start this challenge, we are going away this weekend! 
February 13th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Melanie
says:
I just found your challenge and it is an answer to pray. I have been married 5 years and just had a baby in the past year. My husband and I have a great, fun relationship, but like most men, he has more of a sex drive than me. I hate turning him down and disappointing him and I hate feeling obligated and resentful. It is nice to know that this is “normal” and that there are ways to combat it. Satan won’t get in the way of this marriage!! Thanks so much for stepping out and doing this!
February 18th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Nanci
says:
You ROCK! I love this post! After years of challenges (kids are 14 & 12), lots of quickies, sometimes biting a bathroom towel- we’ve been enjoying his ability to work from home! We can’t get the girls to school fast enough sometimes! Oh, tomorrow is a work from home today! WaaHoo!!!
February 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 am
joy
says:
This is so encouraging to hear you helping Christian women in this area. I’ll admit in our home our sex quota as i like to call it is all uneven. I’ve always been the “man” wanting it way more than him most of the time. I know i’m not the only one out there that feels that way. I just think i know how a man feels when he is rejected cause i have felt that way before. I’m so glad there were so many women on board with this challenge. Thanks for being bold and posting this. great work. My husband and i are constantly adjusting things and trying to make time for it when sometimes neither of us have the energy for it. We are always glad we did, when we do. Thanks again.
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Moone
says:
I’m with Joy-My husband feels pressured with the amount of libido God so graciously gave to me. In fact, I can’t even imagine him ever wanting intimacy in any fashion that I would be too tired for. I am a mom of 3 and pregnant with our fourth. Since I’m only getting bigger for the next few months-I need some creative help to get him in the mood. I’ve been praying for God to help him-because I feel so rejected much of the time. He has started lifting weights/working out, and so far it is having more effect than anything else. Of course, it is only by prayer he is even doing that-he hates exercise! So thank you for this post, and PLEASE offer advice to those of us on the other side of the husband.
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Tammy
says:
K…I want in on this challenge…could you please send me the code to the button. THANKS!
March 11th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Baby Mamma (Tamra)
says:
This is such a great thing you did. I came across it a little bit ago through the League of EW’s.
I want to add your button to my blog. A little over a month ago I finished up hosting a marriage Bible study in my home, and this goes right along with that.
Thanks so much again for all the time and effort you took to do this!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:14 am
Dawn :0)
says:
YOU GO GIRL!
GOD WILL BLESS IN THIS ENDEVOR & I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN IN ON IT!
April 5th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
thefarmerfiles
says:
Just stumbled across your blog…
Don’t want to scroll through 30 comments to see if anyone has mentioned the book Intimacy Ignited, based on SOS. It is wonderful for every marriage, but particularly great for couples that may have difficulty jumping into the challenge.
aloha from hawaii!!
June 6th, 2008 at 4:11 am
Lin
says:
I’m in! I’m sure my husband will appreciate us both!
Lins last blog post..IN THE WORLD,NOT OF THE WORLD -WHY THIS MOM LIKES TIM TEBOW
December 1st, 2008 at 11:40 pm
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