Today was a whirlwind of a day. I went to a meeting at school, followed by a trip to the grocery store, followed by library story hour, then a haircut for Silas, followed by his nap while I did some “work” on the computer, followed by a glorious afternoon soaking up the sun (ok so that part wasn’t so bad), followed by dinner and kid’s bedtime. Whew.

Why did I just give you a play by play? Because this is kind of a standard day around here. Lots of time in the car running around, lots of time with my kiddos, with a little productivity thrown in.

As I continue to reflect on the status of my friendships (recapped nicely here and here), I am realizing friendships at this stage in life are kind of like marriages. They can’t survive without dedicated time and attention.

While this might be a lesson from Captain Obvious, I am not sure is all that intuitive. In high school and college friendships require a different kind of work. Sure you have to overcome some immature drama, but you are together daily and have a ton of life in common.

Friendships in early marriage take work because you have to keep one foot in the single world and one foot in the married world, but it is kind of a nice weed out period where you find out who your friends are.

Friendships with young children become easy again. I mean there still is drama from time to time (oh my WORD that mom needs to discipline her child and stop him from beating on mine), but you find parents through playgroups and you all are in survival mode together. Those friends are your life line during the week.

But now life is just busy. My life is busy. My kids life is busy. My kid’s friend’s lives are busy. My kid’s friend’s parent’s lives are busy. Still with me? Net out: we are all quite busy. I try and plan a girl’s night out and we have to plan three months out. Add in husbands and it is worse. It is really hard to develop close relationships when you hang out once a month.

But Facebook is always there. So is Twitter. Add in Skype and I can “hang” with my online buddies 24 hours a day if I want. But here is the thing. As much as I love that, how close am I really getting in 140 characters. I can be whoever I want online. And it is easy to be a safe version of myself.

Here is the other thing. The more I just put out the safe version of myself online, the more I am tempted to sanitize the real version of myself. Everyone needs friends they can be real with. So what happens when you stop being real?

So why did I compare it to marriage? Because if we put the effort into it, it is so very worth it. Yes, it can be hard work to maintain, but if we can put down our walls, sacrifice our schedule a little and get real, we will be blessed with the deep relationships we all crave.

To this end, I am carving out some time in a busy weekend (the fact that it is in April and I already have things on the calendar is sad) to go to (in)RL.

When is it: A couple hours each on Friday & Saturday April 27 & 28, 2012 (you can find out if there is a meetup in your area and when it is here. If there isn’t one, start your own!)

What’s it about: Creating a catalyst for women to connect in real life, right where they are.

Why’s it special: It’s the un-conference that comes to your doorstep; just meet up with girl friends and tune in to our online webcast.

Who’s it for: For the women who’ve been hurt by friends, for the women who’ve been healed by friends, for the women who crave local Jesus community, for the women who wish they had the time, baby sitter or budget for a girl’s weekend away. So honestly, who isn’t it for??!!!

I love what my friend Lisa Jo has to say about it. And since she asked me to share about it with you, I thought I should let her do some work.

I would say their ideas fit pretty well with all I have been talking about wouldn’t you? Are you finding yourself craving something more in your friendships? Gather some girlfriends and dive into real life.

Back before the day of Flip cameras and high definition video cameras, my parents recorded some of our early Christmases on tape. Well I don’t even know what they used to record it, but they made a cassette tape for me with the recorded memories. Yes. I am old.

Anyway, this particular Christmas my parents had gotten two year old me what they assumed would be the HIT of the year. My very own play kitchen. The tape documents me coming down the stairs Christmas morning and discovering all the gifts Santa had left behind.

I quickly tackle my stocking and exclaim as only a two year old can, “UNDERWEAR!!!” (in my head I can hear that voice perfectly. I can’t say my r’s). My parents giggle a little and say, “Jill, what else did you get.” And I am sure they are gesturing in the direction of the large kitchen. I look next to the underwear I have just opened and gasp, “MORE UNDERWEAR!!!”

My parents literally have to point at the big kitchen to get me to notice at which point I say, “OH A TOVE!!”(apparently I am not so great with the S either.

For the last several Christmases I have been feeling less and less joy at Christmas. I really WANT to be joyful at Christmas. I mean isn’t joy what the season is about?

But I think the problem is all around me I see people getting excited for “underwear” and missing the stove.

This could be another post about consumerism and how evil it is, but the fact is, as a parent I love giving my children gifts. I love picking out a gift that I know will mean a lot to my child and seeing their face when they open it. Giving gifts is one of the best things about Christmas. And if we are created in God’s image wouldn’t it only make sense that we were made to love giving good gifts.

But I long for a Christmas with gifts that are more meaningful and with a whole lot less of them. More homemade, local gifts and less plastic junk from who knows where. And I long for a Christmas with a whole lot more giving to others and a whole lot less of getting for myself.

Less, less, less of so much and more, more, more of Jesus.

This post is part of World Vision’s 12 Blogs of Christmas Project about the true spirit of Christmas. In order to learn more real needs that you can meet this Christmas season, check out the World Vision Catalogue.

Do you have your own story about the true spirit of Christmas? Share it today at the World Vision blog.

Disclosure: This post was not compensated in any way. My love for World Vision is well documented