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As Luck Would Have It….

June 29, 2009

garage-saleThe garage sale last week/weekend was a success. I made a nice chunk of change, but still have a garage full of “treasures”. I am thinking I might throw the doors open one more time this week just to see if I can get rid of a little more. Then the Salvation Army will be receiving a nice little donation.

Thursday was by far my busiest day. I was slammed with almost continuous traffic. The girls had a lemonade stand for most of the day diligently screaming “LEMONADE” at anyone who came within a 5 foot radius of their table. They were quite excited by the $16 they pulled in, most of which is probably owed to me for all the cups, paper towels and lemonade they used. They seem to have a great business plan going there.

Anyway, my mom and I dealt with the bargain seekers and the girls did an awesome job of staying out of the way. Around lunchtime we finally seemed to have a little break in the action so my mom made a Subway run. Of course the second she turned the corner at the end of the street 79 people walked up to my garage. Ok, maybe it was closer to six. But either way, I had a lot going on. Hannah had gone into the house a bit ago and suddenly I could have swore I heard some screaming coming from somewhere. Some of the customers had kids so it took me a while to realize the screaming was coming from inside which meant it was my kid. Crap.

I quickly ran inside hoping that no one was shoplifting the precious frame with Winnie the Pooh on it someone had lovingly given me at a shower. There I came upon Hannah in the bathroom standing in  a puddle of poop and pee and screaming her head off. Hannah, who has been potty trained for quite some time and no longer has accidents. Hysterical Hannah who can’t stop saying, “I poo pooed on the floor!!”. I instruct her to strip down and wait for me to get back and not to be sad cause Mommy isn’t mad (mostly not mad) as I rush back outside. I make a few sales, run back inside, grab Hannah while holding her as far away from me as possible and run her upstairs to the bath.

Only I don’t have time to run and monitor a bath so I just stand her in it and tell her to wait once again while I run backstairs. The crowd is not thinning and in fact is getting added to. More sales and I track down Lily who is playing with the neighbor girl. I instruct her to go entertain her poor sister until I can get up there. And to avoid the downstairs bathroom at all costs. Meanwhile I have some lady haggling over the stack of crap, sorry treasures, she has in her hands. Oh and did I mention it is 156 degrees in the shade, I am starving and six months pregnant. Um, yeah.

Finally my mom gets back explaining the long line at Subway. Of course. I send her inside to quickly hose down Hannah and get the girls started on lunch until I can tear away from the sale and switch with her. She thankfully throws my sandwich at me before she heads inside to tackle the nightmare that awaits. And like a good mother, she takes pity on her preggo daughter and bathes Hannah, feeds the girls and even cleans up the bathroom because “you shouldn’t be on your hands and knees like that.” Finally, a pregnancy perk I can get behind.

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Jill is the author of The Diaper Diaries. She has been changing diapers for 6+ years as a stay at home mom of three children. She also has a devoted husband who graciously puts up with this little internet hobby. They all probably wishes she would exercise a bit more discretion as she shares their life's ups, downs and in-betweens with anyone willing to read it. You can (almost always) find her on Twitter @DiaperDiaries.

8 Comments »

  1. MyraNo Gravatar says:

    hahahahahaaha! so hilarious! i can see it all happening! it’s so good to know that i’m not the only one that things like this happen too!
    Myra´s last blog ..Got My Yard Sale Fix…For $12.50! My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 12:34 am

  2. SimplySaraNo Gravatar says:

    Bahahahaha!
    Classic!
    Now that is a GREAT story. I could totally picture the frantic scene.
    :)
    SimplySara´s last blog ..His weapon of choice…. My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 1:08 am

  3. Brandy T.No Gravatar says:

    Haha! This is great! You are such a great writer; I felt like I was right there. If it makes you feel any better, yesterday I caught poop AND throw-up IN. MY. HAND. The joys of motherhood, eh?
    Brandy T.´s last blog ..Because creativity is stifled by stifling heat… My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 2:11 am

  4. KristaNo Gravatar
    Twitter:
    says:

    oh.my.word. Of all the things to possibly go wrong at once…
    Thanks for the laugh… I hope you can laugh about it now that it’s been a week!
    Krista´s last blog ..Camping Adventures My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 2:24 am

  5. NimmiNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks for the laugh. That story made my day.
    Nimmi´s last blog ..Mortals, where are you? Genesis 3:9 My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 6:27 am

  6. Jo@MylestonesNo Gravatar says:

    Is this the part where you rise up and call your mom “blessed”?
    Glad the yard sale was a success, in spite of the unforeseen “complications”. :-)
    Jo@Mylestones´s last blog ..Dear Summer Weather Pattern: Seriously?? REALLY?! My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 9:12 am

  7. AndreaNo Gravatar says:

    Oh.my.goodness!! That was hilarious – and I’m so glad your mom was there to bail you out of having to clean up the mess!

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 10:58 am

  8. Heather HNo Gravatar says:

    this is too funny!!
    Heather H´s last blog ..Vacation My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    June 29th, 2009 at 2:21 pm

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